What I’m Learning in this Fog

1. Intentionality doesn’t come easy when the busyness of life comes to a halt. 

Our family schedule and calendar are usually full of practices and games for three kids, church activities, etc. I was excited when I first thought about having to stay home. What a beautiful inconvenience to slow down and have the time to be intentional. Yet, it hasn’t been as easy as I thought; I’ve learned intentionality is its muscle needing to be exercised. 

2. There is space for fear even when you trust God.

There is this tension I feel. A tightrope I’m walking. I am overcome with fear if I lean too far to one side. I trust God is in control, yet I also believe there is a space to feel anxious. It’s what I do with these feelings when they come that matter. Experiencing the feeling of fear doesn’t make my relationship with God less than. 

3. Routines are everything and nothing all at the same time.

Routines aren’t bad, I made one the day I knew we would spend a significant amount of time at home together. I often make them in hopes they will help me achieve what I’m trying to accomplish. And yet, sometimes, they do the opposite. 

4. It’s not the busyness of life that keeps me from looking outside of myself and more to others.

There are extra hours in the evening I wouldn’t usually have, and somehow, the hours have not been filled with helping and loving others. My knee-jerk reaction is to turn inward, planning to help our family through this strange time in history. Looking outside, I need another muscle I need to grow; perhaps I’m weaker than I thought. 

5. I can regrow green onions if I keep the bulbs.

As I walked through the grocery store just a few days into our quarantine, an eerie feeling fell upon me. I walked through aisle after aisle of empty or barely stocked shelves. An interest in becoming more self-sustaining emerged. I went home, googled some stuff, and learned that I could regrow the green onions in my fridge by cutting the bulbs and placing them in water. Although I have yet to try, you can do the same with celery. 

These are just a few of the thoughts that have been circling in my head as I walk through this fog.