When Parenting Feels Like a Shot in the Dark
The other Sunday, we were tucked in the second row where we usually sit. Sometimes, the pews and chairs at church are like a school lunchroom; we all have our spots. A sweet family we know stood on stage with their baby girl. She stole the show, giving unprompted kisses to her dad as they dedicated her to the Lord in front of family and friends.
Just last year, we stood there, too, amidst the lights, garland, and Christmas trees, dedicating our youngest. How fast the year has passed, and the older you get, the more true that cliche is. As our Pastor discussed the significance and purpose of this commitment and prayed over the family, I looked over at my sixteen-year-old. This special moment was for this family but also a reminder for me.
Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (ESV) Many of us desire to train a child in the way they should go. It’s easy to dream of the ways we will do this, especially when snuggles are plentiful, and they need us for everything. Then time passes, usually overnight, and it feels weightier.
Precious first words become backtalk. You go from anticipating the first steps to dreading the first time they will drive off independently. And from disciplining toddler tantrums to eye-rolls and attitudes.
Pointing them to Jesus becomes more than family devotionals and bedtime prayers. Instead, it’s as if each new stage we enter is a dark room, and we’re trying to figure out how to turn the light on and wonder if we found it in time.
When they begin to face difficult decisions
Lose a friend or experience their first broken heart
When they ask questions, and we don’t have the answers
And experience anxiety
When they don’t make the team
When they’re struggling with their body image
Seem down and distant
When it comes to parenting and dedicating our children to the Lord, some of us try to follow in the footsteps of those who modeled it well before us. For some, this wasn’t the case; we are trying to forge new ways, changing our family tree and bending one branch at a time. Will we succeed?
We knew what dedication looked like when they fit in our arms, but what about when they are older and their struggles mirror our own?
I thought about the charades of getting our family out the door. I thought of the kid who told me to stop reminding him to put on deodorant and the one who had to change clothes as the rest of us loaded into the van because he was still in sweats despite being asked repeatedly to get ready. That’s why I appreciated this particular morning; I needed the reminder that dedicating our children to the Lord is a continuous handing them over, maybe you did too.
